by Ben Black

Janu was a Roman god who could look forward and backward at the same time. Well, I'm no Roman god, but as 1999 comes to a close, I too must look forward and backward. I was worried about the world coming to an end at the stroke of midnight on Jan. 1, 2000, but I saw that the National Football League has football games scheduled January 2nd and 3rd. Even I know that the money-making NFL would not schedule a football game if everybody on earth was going to be dead. Where's the quarterback? Dead. The Cheerleaders? Dead too. John Madden and Pat Summerall? You got it. Dead, and riding that big Greyhound bus to the real playoffs. If the NFL had cancelled the football games scheduled to be played in January, now that might be the end of the world as we know it.

I think there's hope we might make it through this.

Still, hearing so many bits and pieces of this end of the year, end of the decade, end of the century, end of the millennium, end of time stuff has probably induced this who what where when and why I thought it was important stuff.

I remember the middle of the century when life, for me, was great. God, country and apple pie. Good always triumphed over evil. America had just come out of a World War with its constitution still in tact. Spies were something other countries had, and TVs told and showed us all about how good we had it. I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis and the way they told us to stoop down under our desks in case nuclear war started. That way we would probably be OK. I saw it on TV so it had to be the truth. It's amazing how important that tube has been over the last fifty years in shaping public opinion. The Kennedy-Nixon Debates, the Kennedy and Oswald assassinations, Neil Armstrong landing on the moon; these are but a few televised events that had a profound effect on America. In our community a new TV was a big deal.

A thousand years ago humankind could not have envisioned having cell phones, beepers and computers in air-conditioned petroleum-burning vehicles. Nor could they have envisioned being stuck on the freeway in traffic every afternoon. Well, sitting here, in the future, in traffic, in my gas-guzzler, with other drivers who are also late, I am inclined to nominate Henry Ford as my candidate for the Man of the Century or the Millennium. If he envisioned making and selling cars, somewhere he should be deliriously happy now. I wonder if he envisioned these daily traffic jams.

Post World War II babies, like myself, have heard all our lives that Winston Churchill is a great man, and in many minds is the greatest man of the century. He was a symbol of strength, perseverance and more to millions of people during the Big War. On his merits alone, Churchill could be a candidate. Some people think Albert Einstein's was the greatest mind of the 20th century, and would be a worthy candidate. Just about everybody (sorry OJ) thinks the discovery and exploration of DNA is just phenomenal. Let's nominate these scientists that are unraveling the mysteries of life itself. I think we may need a special category for the marketing people that talked us into buying tennis shoes that cost way over $100 a pair. Maybe we need to keep our eyes on them.

There have been many statesmen, theorists, artists, inventors and inventions over the ages that have contributed to shaping our modern world. When I think of pertinent inventions, then, I think we should name a city, state or something for the people who perfected indoor plumbing. We take it for granted now, but plumbing -- yeah, that's a big one. Living here in Austin, let us dare not forget to mention the people who brought us that wonderful, life-saving invention called air-conditioners. Where would we be (April to November) without our ozone-depleting comforters called air-conditioners? Canada.

It's all becoming clearer now. 2nd place: Man of the Millennium is a tie between Benjamin Franklin, for his work with electricity, and RCA Victor, for developing the apparatus that would one day become the CD player that would and does allow us to hear my own choice for Man of the Millennium, First Prize winner, the one and only, Long Tall, Dexter Gordon! Tenor sax-oph-o-nist extraordinare. Why Dex? Well, I presently cannot think of anyone, past or present, who does what they do any better than Dex does what he does. He must be the greatest, except for Muhammed Ali. But I don't have a Muhammed Ali CD in the player, so, it's Dex or no one. Since I have quite a few Dexter Gordon recordings, and since he has my vote as Earthling of the Millennium, I plan to listen to at least one Dexter Gordon recording everyday until the year 2000, if I ever get out of this traffic.

Entering a new millennium is exciting, even despite all the hoopla. Just being here is quite a thrill. And, of course, being here beats the heck of the alternatives, as much as anyone has been able to tell. Thanks to Dex, I'll be ready for the new century. Happy New Year...peace.